Winter is gradually winding down and training is ramping up. After snowshoe racing season I'm feeling in a good place to hit the trails this year. Actually, I'm hitting the roads too - running two half marathons this spring, sandwiched around the Bear Mountain 50 Miler in May.
Spring coming up means my Mom is soon facing a serious medical procedure, which is going to be a test for her and for my entire family. In May she is undergoing a stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma, which she was diagnosed with a few days before Christmas. When someone you love is hurting, you feel some of their pain in a way, almost like it is radiating from the ache in your heart. Maybe this is part of the reason I am increasingly throwing myself into running right now. It could just be I'm simply trying to distract myself, but partly I want to make myself hurt with my Mom. It makes no sense, and it is likely presumptuous or patronizing or some other unintended thing, but I can't help it. Because pushing myself feels better than doing nothing. Because not being able to do anything is the hardest part of all. I just wish it could somehow unburden some of her own - real - struggles. The good news is my Mom is a lot tougher than I am, and the better news is that she and my Dad and her medical team can, and have been, doing a lot. Mom has been taking great care of herself and responding very well to treatment, and my Dad is part-super-hero/part-angel looking after her better than ten normal people could.
Sometimes running teaches me about life, and sometimes in return life teaches me about running. When a race is going well, it is all so easy to just keep chugging happily along. But when things fall apart and get too tough, I used to say it's just a game and ask what's the point anyway and sometimes even quit. I've come to realize that there doesn't have to really be a point except to appreciate each day, or each mile. If we're truly lucky, that's what we get. It is enough, and I'm grateful.
7 comments:
Judy has shown tremendous strength, and I'm sure will continue to battle this hard. She and Peter are both doing all the right things, which is comforting to know.
Oh Sara this is truly beautiful heartfelt piece. I know we talked a little about this and it is true, believe. Could you give your Mom and your Super Hero Dad a hug for me if they don't mind. Keep running Sara do whatever makes you feel and get through this thing that you have no control over. It is going to be fine I just know it. Hug B
I don't think it is presumptuous. It's sort of like trying to share the experience, perhaps. You're not, I know, but having a parent ill is frightening and can be very isolating, so a way to be with them - I'm not being particularly eloquent here, but it does make sense to me.
hay sara, great post. not sure if you've been following him, but my friend dave went through this exact procedure last september. and now - he has registered for pyp 25k in april. just goes to show the power of positive attitude and strength for recovery! hope this helps!
*big monster hugs*
Hope everything goes well for your mom and for you too in your races. I have mixed feelings when I think of your accomplishments, happy that you and Derrick are doing so well, and sad that I cannot run and train with you any more. Later this year I will be having a hip replacement and the doctor tells me that will end my running. I'll only be able to bike and walk. Stay healthy and best wishes to you both.
Sara I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. I found running to be the escape I needed when dealing with both my parents serious illnesses. Having been thru these difficult times it's taught me to cherish every day and to live each one to the fullest.
Thanks so much everyone.
Steve, sorry to hear about your hip. Hope everything goes well and you can enjoy staying active and part of races in other ways.
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